Newsletter 8: Wins and Lessons
IN THIS NEWSLETTER…
Hindsight: my new best friend 🧐
My early New Year’s gift to you! 🎁
The last chance to save on a 2023 coaching engagement with yours truly. 🤑
WINS AND LOSSES LESSONS
This past October, I set myself a Q4 Networking Experiment to see if I could make some meaningful connections with other entrepreneurs and professionals and to expand my view of how I wanted to grow my executive/leadership coaching practice going forward. As the year drew to a close, I was able to recognise that it had been going pretty well. I’d met a lot of new people and learned quite a bit. As an added bonus, the habit of feeling nervous before walking into a roomful of strangers had significantly loosened its grip on me.
In early December, I found myself in the hallway of a Mayfair hotel, and I could hear a cacophony of women’s voices and clinking glasses on the other side of the doors in front of me. I took a deep breath to ground myself one last time before opening the door to join a roomful of people I didn’t know, for the last time in 2022. I had recently joined The Women’s Chapter, and this was to be their annual Christmas Lunch. Based on my (virtual) interactions with the group so far, I was expecting a warm welcome, and I was not disappointed. Shortly after cheers-ing with the first people I met whilst grabbing a glass of bubbles at the bar, we were all asked to find our assigned seats at the various tables dotted around the room.
I found myself at Table 7 with four other women and we wasted no time jumping into conversation about what we were most passionate about and how we came to be at this lunch. As often happens in these situations, about 20 minutes into the conversation - as rich as it was - there was a small lull. I decided to jump in with a question I’d been pondering myself in the last few weeks. I posed it to the whole table:
‘Okay, what is your biggest win in 2022? And two rules when answering this question:
It can be personal, professional or a mash-up of the two.
No caveats or qualifications. i.e.: “It wasn’t perfect but…” or “I still have a long way to go…” etc. Just the win you are most proud of this year and why.
The conversation that followed is still firmly implanted in my brain. This is what I heard:
The first of my new friends to speak up, shared how she was deeply proud of how she stepped into her truth this year by outwardly owning her spirituality.
Another had a sense that she had finally and truly let go of her need to control every last detail and as a result, found herself in ‘flow’ more often and generally more relaxed about what is to come next.
The next of these brilliant women celebrated her resilience after a really tough 2021. She found a bounce-back-ability that she didn’t know she had and learned the immense strength and capability of the team she had built around her.
The last of my tablemates shared the pride she had in the unique leadership style she defined for herself in the hard moments that come with building a team and a business.
And then there was me. ‘Well, I made a massive career transition and started up my coaching practice. I’m not going to lie - I found it super scary at times. So, the most obvious thing I could be proud of is the fact that I did it anyway, despite the fear. But actually, when I think about it, that’s not what I’m MOST proud of. My biggest win of 2022 is that I’m just. not. scared. anymore. Somewhere along the way, I figured out that there are no mistakes, just information. And finally knowing that - in my bones - THAT feels amazing.’
When I later reflected on the answers I heard and shared myself, I realised that exactly no one was MOST proud of closing that big deal, getting that promotion, or launching that start up. Instead, every single one of us was most proud of our growth, of what we’d learned.
They say ‘hindsight is 20/20’ for a reason. And that’s because it’s true. So as I look toward 2023, I’ll be thinking about the lessons I want to learn rather than focusing entirely on the milestones I want to accomplish. And, in addition to the joy and laughter I’m sending your way, I’ll be wishing you a new year full of meaningful lessons as well. ❤️🤓❤️🤓
CURIOSITY PROMPTS
Instead of New Year’s Resolutions, I like to declare a Bold Vision. (See bonus content below, but essentially it’s a brief description of what I want to have accomplished, how I want to have shown up and how I want to feel this time next year - all written in the present tense.) This year will be no exception because I always find the process to be so clarifying and empowering. However, a step I took this year ahead of looking forward to 2023 - and inspired by the conversation I’ve shared above - was to first fully audit my wins & lessons of 2022. This helped me to not only remember the accomplishments and growth that were most meaningful to me - because how easily we forget (just google ‘negativity bias’ if you are curious as to why that is)! But, equally important, it gave clarity to what I will be truly most proud of and find most meaningful in 2023.
And so, my present to you this holiday season is the gift of hindsight. Consider this your invitation to take a look in the rearview mirror for a minute before stepping on the gas.
STILL CURIOUS? (Bonus Content)
Once you have clarity on what was most meaningful and impactful for you in 2022, check out some tips for writing your own Bold Vision here. (I’m forever indebted to Wendy Leshgold, Lisa McCarthy and the Fast Forward team for sharing this with me in one of their workshops over 10 years ago!)
WORK WITH ME
Maybe you’ve got big dreams for 2023 and also perhaps a niggling voice in your head reminding you that you might fail, that you have no clue how to get there, or saying ‘who am I to think I could do that!?’. Or perhaps 2022 has just left you feeling not as clear or motivated as you’d like to be feeling about 2023.
Whatever the case - if you are ready to get past the barrier that’s holding you back from a meaningful 2023 that you can be deeply proud of, let me help you knock it down. But do get in touch ASAP. Those who book in for a New Year Curiosity Call HERE (Jan 3-12, 2023) will be the very last to have access to my 2022 pricing.
In all curiousness,
Joy
P.S. If/when the spirit ever moves you or you have questions - always feel free to get in touch and let me know what’s coming up for you!
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