Newsletter 13: Trust the process. No, really.
IN THIS NEWSLETTER…
My biggest learning so far in 2023.
A toolbox full of trust.
Opportunities to work together (from September onwards)
TRUST THE PROCESS. NO, REALLY.
Last Thursday, I glanced at my calendar, and then up at my Command Central Dashboard (the organised clusters of multi-coloured post-it notes on the window in my office). The data I collected from these two sources told me that it was time for a check in on my recent Wins and Lessons.
(NOTE: Tracking my Wins & Lessons is a dorky-yet-incredibly-powerful process I developed that fuels my personal and professional growth. How it works: I celebrate Friday Wins each week and then, at the end of the month I capture the most meaningful wins and lessons from the last few weeks in my Wins & Lessons Audit Tool.)
Joy Poole Coaching & Speaking Command Central Dashboard
(Analog)
As it was the end of Q2, I made the extra effort to look back over the entirety of H1 2023 as well. I wondered: If I had to pick only one lesson I’ve learned from this year so far, what would it be?
It didn’t take long to see the answer jump off the page at me. This year, I had finally learned HOW to ‘Trust the Process’ and it had changed everything for me.
I emphasise HOW because I’ve been bought into the concept of ‘Trust the Process’ for quite a while. By the time I entered into my 4th decade on this planet, I’d experienced enough to know that things generally work out eventually. And that when they didn’t, it just meant that the story wasn’t over yet. I believed all of this in theory, but boy did I still have trouble remembering it when things weren’t going ‘my way’. And as a result, my Control All The Things Strategy (CATTS for short) usually won out over this theoretical understanding whenever I had a goal in mind.
But as I looked back over my recent wins and lessons, I realised that something had finally ‘clicked’. The self-collected data was telling me that the 2 years I’d spent building a business as a solo entrepreneur had been a masterclass in how to go beyond simply saying the words ‘trust the process’ and to start living them.
I took stock of what that transformation looked like.
It was nice to take note of the ‘on paper’ success metric. But what felt really rewarding and freeing was to take note of the shift in my feelings and actions.
It’s important to note: the calm and excitement I’m experiencing now did not come AFTER the ‘on paper’ success metrics were realised. It came before.
Now, it would make for a much better story if I could point to a single ah-ha moment where this shift happened. But alas, that’s not how it unfolded. What happened was a deliberate and conscious effort on my part over MANY months to experiment with and collect the beliefs and tools that would help me face uncertainty and insecurity with less of a need for CATTS and more of a desire to trust. Here’s that collection:
‘Trust the Process’ does NOT give licence to be lazy, to quit or to not care. One thing that had long held me back from living the belief of ‘trusting the process’ was a debilitating worry that everything would fall apart if I did. Coming to the understanding that ‘trusting the process’ did not equal apathy or inaction eventually eliminated that worry for me.
Okay so what DOES it mean? For me, 3 things:
Do-or-die goals are out. Preferences are in. Having a preference means I can have goals and ambitions without the need to grip onto them until my knuckles turn white. It means I can leave room for my preference to happen…or maybe something even better.
You don’t just sit back and watch the process unfold. You show up for it. The best tool I’ve collected to translate this from a nice quote to something I could actually DO is the concept of Process Goals vs Outcome Goals, which was introduced to me by my business coach, Ceylan Boyce. (More on that concept and tool below.)
The MVP: Learnings are wins too. Somewhere along the way, when I found myself feeling anxious or uncertain about something I wanted to do, I started reframing the task as an experiment. In the beginning, I actually wrote down a hypothesis of the best way to go about said task in order to achieve my preferred outcome. I then outlined the steps I wanted to take to test my hypothesis and the defined measures of success for the experiment. (Nerd alert! x) Success became about proving or disproving my hypothesis, rather than about achieving the preferred outcome. Either way, I’d come out with a learning that I could use the next time I tackled this or a similar task. And I’d have something to put into my W&L Audit tool! Winner winner chicken dinner. (BTW, now I usually no longer go to the effort of writing out my full experiment plan. But I do often find myself asking, ‘Okay, what’s the experiment here?’ It taps into that curious bone in my body and releases some pressure, everytime.)
So that’s it for now. My deep dive on the most meaningful lesson of H1 for me. It’s my hope/preference that some of these words resonate with you. But if not, that’s cool too. (😜 see what I did there?)
Because if I’ve learned anything from this process, it’s that there’s always more to learn, always more story to unfold. And I’m here for it.
CURIOSITY PROMPTS
Get out your journal or go for a walk or a chat with a good friend and take these questions along for the ride.
If you had to pick only one lesson you’ve learned from this year so far, what would it be?
Think of the BIG question that’s weighing on your mind and heart right now. What’s the experiment here?
STILL CURIOUS? (BONUS CONTENT)
Years ago, I stumbled on this article on Actor Bryan Cranston’s take on ‘focusing on the process’. It has always stuck with me because his experience speaks to something I’ve learned to be true. And that is the fact that the energy we bring when we are focused on the process is super attractive. More often than not, it’s going to attract the attention, the opportunity, whatever we want, more effectively than when we are focused on the outcome. (Just think back to that date who was TOO keen or that salesperson who made you cringe. To be sure, those folks were 100% focused on their desired outcomes.)
But as someone who was always taught to ‘keep your eye on the prize,’ I initially found this advice confusing, even disconcerting. Until I learned that I could honour my desire for a big outcome and trust the process by remaining focused there. I just needed two kinds of goals so that I could shift that focus.
Outcome Goal: Focused on the end result. (i.e. running a marathon). I’ve always known these goals and I still use them, but in a different way. Instead of obsessing over them, I kind of ‘set it and forget it,’ knowing my real power lies in the process.
Process Goals: About the steps you want to take to get there. (i.e. buying a pair of running shoes, getting advice on a training schedule, getting up an hour earlier, etc.) I find that by breaking these up into tiny pieces and focusing my curiosity and joy here, my focus naturally shifts in this direction, and the trust starts to build.
WORK WITH ME
Coaching: While I’m fully booked at the moment, I have some availability opening up in September. If you are feeling at all curious, feel free to get in touch so we can have a chat.
Speaking: Trust is a topic that I’ve become a bit obsessed with. I truly believe that it is the most under-leveraged and misunderstood leadership quality out there and I’ve started taking this message on the road. If you are looking for a high-energy speaker with insightful messages and practical strategies for your next event, you can check out my signature talk tracks here. I’m currently taking bookings for Q4 and beyond.
In all curiousness,
Joy
P.S. If/when the spirit ever moves you or you have questions - always feel free to get in touch and let me know what’s coming up for you!
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