AQW: Help vs. Support
A Quick Word on: Help vs Support
Once a week, I meet up virtually with an awesome group of talented coaches, led by an incredible Master Certified Coach*. (As the title implies, the MCC qualification is a pretty big deal in the nerdy world of coaching🤓.) Anyway, each week has a theme that we go DEEP on, and last week the theme was ‘Partnership’.
Now, Partnership is at the core of any great coaching engagement. Well, any coaching engagement I want to be part of, anyway. And while ‘partnership’ is a concept most of us would say that we understand pretty well, I came away with a few ah-ha moments from this discussion. But there was one insight I doubt I'll ever forget. And that is the difference between ‘help’ and ‘support’ - two words I have probably used interchangeably for most of my life. I now see a subtle but very powerful distinction. Here it is, through my new lens:
Help: One person is standing up, lending a hand down to the other person.
Support: Two people standing together, as partners with complementary roles.
As I left the session with my new definitions in my back pocket, I was thinking about how they would most certainly impact how I show up as a coach, how I partner with my clients.
Then, at the start of this week, I found myself in need of some help. You see, I ‘pre-launched’ (as I'm learning they say in 'the biz' - the course biz, that is) my first digital course this week. And while I'm TOTALLY excited and confident about the content that my course is packed with, I'm unashamed to admit that I don't know my a$$ from my elbow when it comes to marketing a digital course.
On Monday, I felt a pit in my stomach when I realised I was going to need some help. On top of applying my recently acquired basic-level knowledge of what to do in terms of email and social media marketing, I knew I needed to ask friends, clients and colleagues to directly share the news of my course with female leaders who could benefit from it. So I started to type: Can I ask a favour? Then retype: I'm writing to ask for your help. Delete and retype: Help a sister out!
Nothing felt…right. It was imbalanced. I felt needy. They might feel put out.
Then, you guessed it. I held that delete button down with with a smile and tried again: I'd love your support on this thing that is really important to me. And I followed up with a super specific description of the type of support that would be most impactful.
What came back was…well, I'll be honest I'm still processing the magnitude of support I received and what it has produced. For now, I'll just say that it meant quite a lot. And quite a few of those who jumped in to partner with me in this moment will be reading this right now. To you lot, I say another big, fat, squishy thank you. 💜 And that I hope you know - and feel it in your bones - that my support is yours whenever it's needed.
For all the leaders reading this, the question I invite you to consider this week is:
Where might you like give or receive support instead of help?
As always, I'd love to hear what comes up for you when you read this. Just hit reply - I respond to every email.
Supportively yours,
Joy
P.S. That thing I was talking about above! Early enrolment for my upcoming course, Progress with Purpose is sold out. More opportunities to get involved are coming up though! Subscribe to stay in the loop!
P.P.S. Always feel free to get in touch if the spirit moves you or to share this with a friend if you think it might resonate!
*If you are a coach and reading this, Jaimini Padleckis' ‘Masterful Coach Evolution Group Coaching Programme' is definitely worth checking out!