More than a machine.
IN THIS NEWSLETTER
🤖 How a question of capability can become a question of clarity and then a source of power.
📝 A starter guide for defining the kind of leader you want to become.
MORE THAN A MACHINE.
‘She’s SO good.’
‘Yeah, she’s an absolute MACHINE.’
I overheard this exchange while attending an industry event more than a decade ago, and it has always stuck in my head. Two of my male colleagues were talking about one of my female colleagues, Melinda (not her real name), behind her back, in the best kind of way. Their fanboying of this high-performing peer made my ears perk up.
I continued to eavesdrop as they went on to talk about how she just ‘gets shit done’ and how even though she was 7 months pregnant, she continued to ‘dominate’. They were impressed, to say the least.
And I was presumptively jealous. Did people say that about me behind my back? Did they think I was an ‘absolute machine’? Boy, did I hope so.
Because everything I did back then was to prove myself to BE that machine. The long hours (while often not letting on how long I worked). No detail being overlooked. Every email and message being responded to in a timely fashion. Being thoughtful and eager to help without a boundary in sight.
I’m not sure if anyone ever called me a ‘machine’ behind my back as I’d hoped. But my attempts to live up to that standard did certainly produce some good results. Larger and larger scopes. Promotions. Leading bigger teams and taking on high-visibility projects.
Meanwhile, my personal life evolved as well. Most notably, I became a parent. With that came a new set of responsibilities and desires for how I wanted to spend my time. And yet, I was allotted only the same 24 hours in a day. (How unfair!)
I started to notice that being a machine - someone who gets extraordinary volumes of stuff done at an exceptional level of quality - became much harder than before. (And it had never felt easy, to be sure!)
I despaired. And then, predictably, I went into problem-solving mode.
This is my identity, who I am. How do I hold onto what I’m known for even though a lot has changed? I wondered; What does ‘being a machine’ look like now?
So I got to work and prioritised and time-blocked. I researched life-hacks and delegated. I made sure my professional and personal objectives had tangible results and that I had clear plans on how to get there.
Everything just about worked… sort of. I got shit done, for sure. But it was HARD. And it didn’t come with the satisfaction it once did. It felt like I was just keeping my head above water. Like I was forcing a square peg into a round hole. Everyone once in a while I’d break down, believing I just wasn’t as capable as Melinda. I obviously was lacking ability. The clear conclusion was: ‘I’m a machine, just not enough of a machine to make this work.’
It was in one of these low moments that I considered what it might look like to give up on being the person who gets huge volumes of stuff done, and really well. First, I equated that with stagnating in my career. It felt like coasting or quitting, and I didn’t like that one bit.
And then, after a lot of introspection, nerdy leadership development reading and research, it occurred to me to turn question I’d been asking on its head.
The question, ‘What does ‘being a machine’ look like now?’ became:
‘What do I want to be known for as leader now?’
I acknowledged and honoured the type of leader I’d been for so long. And I recognised it was time to shift gears. This wasn’t failure! If anything, it was a transition, an opportunity to grow. And I realised that so long as I tried to hang on to the old ‘machine’ identity, I’d be holding myself back from that growth.
This kicked off a whole line of enquiry for me that caused me to become MUCH more clear on the kind of leader I wanted to evolve to be.
I’d always wanted to be known as: Productive and Impactful.
Now I wanted to be known as: Connected, Creative, Curious, Strategic and Inspiring.
From there, I could identify the behaviours and actions that align with THAT kind of leader, rather than ‘the machine’ leader I once was.
In short, as things started to feel really hard;
I’d thought the problem was a lack of ability to continue being the leader I’d been for so long.
I found out the problem was a lack of clarity on the kind of leader I wanted to be.
I was a machine for a long time. And I sometimes fall back into that thinking and those behaviours. But the days where I feel most energised and powerful are those where I remember that I’m WAY more than just a machine.
CURIOSITY PROMPTS
If you in a season where it might be worthwhile to (re)define the kind of leader you want to be, try these questions on for size.
What are the attributes, characteristics and skills of an exceptional leader?
Of the list you created, what do you believe are the 5 that will make the biggest difference in the leader you want to be? Put them in order from 1 to 5, 1 being the most important.
For each selected trait, What does it mean to you? What impact on your leadership will it have?
For each selected trait, on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 = completely ineffective; 10 = optimal effectiveness), how would you rate yourself in terms of current effectiveness?
WORK WITH ME
I support female leaders to hone their authentic leadership style and write the next bold chapter of work and life. It's the most rewarding work of my career to date and there are TWO ways I currently do it.
1️⃣ I run an online, self-paced course designed to support emerging female leaders in creating their unique and powerful gameplan for more progression, impact, fulfilment and FUN in their careers and beyond.
2️⃣ I support high-performing female leaders inside of bespoke, 1-to-1 coaching partnerships to produce extraordinary results by bridging the gap between where they are now and where they want to be. If you are curious about what a coaching partnership with me could look like, get in touch and we’ll have a chat.
In all curiousness,
Joy
P.S. If/when the spirit ever moves you or you have questions - always feel free to get in touch and let me know what’s coming up for you!
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