AQW: Finding Power
A QUICK WORD ON: FINDING POWER
“I’ve got a deep sense of confidence…come to think of it, one that I’ve never really felt before.”
It was our final session of our leadership coaching engagement, and I’d just asked my client, M, what she was noticing about herself. Her observation warmed my heart. I was thrilled for her and the calm assuredness she was owning - despite a sea of tumultuous business change and end-of-year madness swirling around her. More than anything though, I was deeply curious about what she was noticing.
“What makes that confidence possible?” I asked.
Without hesitation, M responded, “Reflecting on my growth.”
Following my client’s lead, we’d just spent the majority of our last coaching session together reflecting back on her responses to the ‘Coaching Prep Questionnaire’ I’d provided ahead of our FIRST session, months earlier. In so doing, she remembered a lot of the key milestones she’d surpassed during this period. She realised that not only had she achieved the goals she’d set for herself and our partnership, but had also grown in ways she hadn’t anticipated. And in this reflection, she found a sense of confidence in herself, and a sense of clarity in how she wanted to grow next.
I’d witnessed this phenomenon in clients many times before - that reflecting back on accomplishments and celebrating wins would often provide them with a boost to their energy. But it wasn’t until recently that I understood WHY that is and why it MATTERS.
In a word, it’s because: Automaticity. It’s the process that allows us as humans to adapt so quickly. It’s how we go from having to do something very thoughtfully to being able to do it in our sleep. Automaticity enables us to adapt, evolve and grow at pace, which is GREAT!
There is however, at least one drawback of this ability to quickly adapt. With automaticity, comes an almost certainty that we’ll forget or not even notice the progress that we’ve made. It’s why whenever I ask a client what they are most proud of over the past year, they find themselves stumped. And it explains why, when we explore what they’ve accomplished during a period of time, there’s often a sense of surprise - even though they were there for all of it!
So automaticity is responsible for making us forget how far we’ve come. So what? If you are a goal-oriented person, the past isn’t really all that relevant, right? And here’s where I recently realised how truly flawed that thinking is.
Most of us spend a LOT of our time measuring the GAP between where we are and an ideal or goal in the future. Spending time and energy here provides us with direction, which is key.
In comparison, (because of automaticity) we spend VERY VERY VERY little time measuring the GAIN, that is the space between a previous version of ourselves and where we are today. And this is problematic because it’s in THIS space that we find confidence, clarity, energy, momentum and motiviation. (All of which are essential for moving towards our goals.)
And THIS is why looking back, reflecting on how far we’ve come, acknowledging our wins, progress, lessons, growth and milestones is not just a nice thing to do for ourselves. It’s NOT just a warm-fuzzy exercise. It’s essential for powering our continued growth.
You’ll never forget to measure the distance between you and your goal. If you want the confidence, energy and motivation (A.K.A.: POWER) you need in order to get to that goal, you need to consciously make a habit of measuring the distance between you and previous versions of yourself.
And so THIS explains why as a coach I’ve always been obsessed with celebrating wins and acknowledging progress. I was witnessing the boosts to confidence, motivation and energy that followed. And seeing it fuel clients’ progress.
If you haven’t picked up on it yet, this December edition of the newsletter is essentially an ad for end-of-year reflections. I’m a HUGE fan and passionate about the power they hold.
So before you get stuck in on those New Year’s Resolutions or vision-crafting, I’d like to formally invite you to take a minute to deliberately reflect back on 2024. You’ll probably be surprised and fueled by what you find.
BONUS CONTENT
Wins and Lessons Tracker - I developed this simple yet powerful tool for acknowledging progress a few years back. Try it out for reflecting back on 2024 and if it feels supportive, for establishing a habit of focusing on the GAIN as you progress through 2025!
The Gap and the Gain - If you want to go deep on this concept for yourself or your team, this book is what re-ignited my passion for celebrating wins and acknowledging progress.
WORK WITH ME
There are three ways to work with me in 2025. Click below to learn more or always feel free to just hit reply!
Rooting for you always,
Joy
P.S. Always feel free to get in touch if the spirit moves you or to share this with a friend if you think it might resonate!